A few years back, I wrote this critique for art appreciation. Well, I finally got some hate mail about it, from one of the artists, no less. Read on, fucksticks:


I read you little essay on the mural in the library. While I do think that compostition could have be better conceived I think that overall your critique was spoken like someone who has little understanding of art history or the intent of the mural in the first place. You ramble through your essay giving a description but never illlict any use of the terms used by artists or art historians to describe the mural itself. In your conclusion you state you opinion which you have utterly failed to justify in the preceding lines. Your essay on the greek sculpture does the same. Finally, you say the work is that of an amatuer. NO SHIT! It was done by students at your school- most of whom were probably english majors like yourself. I saw also that you have done oral history work with your grandfather. That's great! Maybe you could apply that level of research and thought to your other works. Also Alexander's name was meant! as a referance to his library. That's called a METAPHOR. NO shit he never wrote a book. They didn't even have books then! You don't even have the correct line of reasoning to critique the work. Make your own mural and we'll see how horrific it is to look at!


To which I replied:

My, my--a little sensitive, are we?

First off, you claim I have little understanding of art history or the intent of the mural. Just because the mural is intended to depict the history of writing (not the history of art) does not make it a historical work, in the conventional sense. As for the intent said mural, the placard next to it states that the history of writing is the mural's primary theme. If that's wrong, please enlighten me, O Wise One.

Second, as to your claims that I fail to use any of the terms used by artists or art historians, please accept my heartfelt apologies. Your insight is incredible--I am neither an artist nor an art historian (though I am well-versed in history and can draw a mean stick figure). Should this prevent me from critiqing your work, or is your art not intended for "the masses"? After all, you critiqued my essay, and it's quite obvious that English composition, history, nor critical thinking are your strong suits. If you feel my critique of your work was unfair, well boo-hoo! Life isn't supposed to be fair. Of course, I could be wrong about the whole thing. Why don't you show me a review of the work by recognized art historian (other than someone affiliated with the project, of course)?

Third, on my "failure" to justify my conclusion. Did you not read the part about the lack of Summerian or Phoenician depictions? Or my criticism of choosing James Murray over Shakespeare? What about multiple uses of the same name on books, or the presence of Alan Turing?

Fourth, just because someone can write better than you doesn't necessarily mean they're an English major. My major just happens to be history, though I certainly can write circles around most English majors.

Fifth, Alexander the Great. You'll notice that I mentioned he was responsible for the library of Alexandria, as well as for spreading Hellenic (that means "Greek") culture throughout the "known" world. And claiming that your use of his name is a "metaphor" is a bit of a stretch--I believe "allusion" (that which "alludes" to something) is the word you're looking for.

Sixth, your squeal "They didn't even have books back then!" is the height of ignorance, and proves that you're completely unqualified to be working on anything depicting the history of writing. Why the hell did Alexander build a damn library if they didn't have books? Are you trying to tell me the writings of Aristotle, Euclid, Plato, Sun Tzu, Xenophon, etc, have all been faked?

Finally, I would make my own mural, but I doubt anyone would let me paint stick figures on the walls of IUS. Though I'm not an artist, I'd do a little research about my subject matter first, in order to prevent smartassed non-artist types from calling me out on my shoddy work.

I'm looking forward to attending your next exhibit.



Fuck, I'm too damn polite to these rump-fuckers.

Burn in Hell

posted by El Bastardo at 8:30 PM